


The Law of Unintended Consequences

by Roga



Category: House M.D., Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Crack, Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-09
Updated: 2009-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roga/pseuds/Roga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Even the most purposeful action can have unintended consequences.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Law of Unintended Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> I went to see _Star Trek_ with [](http://sabrina-il.livejournal.com/profile)[**sabrina_il**](http://sabrina-il.livejournal.com/) tonight, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW, GUYS. _This_ is what happens when you give me unexpected crossover casting! Unexpected crossovers. I don't always agree on what the definition of crack is, but this is most definitely it.
> 
> **Spoilers:** House 5x23 ("Under My Skin"). Casting spoiler for the new Star Trek movie, nothing specific for the movie itself.

In the end, Chase agrees because he loves her.

"Are you sure?" Cameron asks, eyes wide.

"He's a part of your past," Chase says, swallowing nervously because he can't believe he's actually doing this. "But he can be the future of us both."

So they go to the clinic together. Nine months after the wedding, the baby is born. They name him James, after his father, and Kirk, after Cameron's. Chase gives him his last name and his love, and hopes that's enough.

* * *

Jim is quite possibly the most beautiful baby who was ever born. By the time he's three, he's already been kissed by more girls than Chase had been by age eighteen. By the time he's six, both Rachel Cuddy ('Rach') and Andy Foreman ('13.5') have crushes on him. By the time he's eight, his parents have to hold an intervention when they discover House been giving him secret lessons in How to Tap That in Five Days, and reports that the boy is impressively -- alarmingly, Chase corrects -- receptive.

Chase loves Jim, but when he's ten and he steals the car so he can go to monster trucks -- and then somehow manages to sneak past security and _steal one of the monster trucks themselves_ \-- Chase reflects, after returning from the police station with Jim stowed safely in the backseat, that the boy is really more trouble than he signed up for.

* * *

"We are not sending him to a seminary," Cameron says in a steely voice.

"I had a _brilliant_ time there," Chase points out. "It was happy! And gay! And educational! And most of all, calming. He might enjoy it."

"No," she says with finality.

"All right," Chase sighs. And can't help but add hopefully: "A military boarding school, then?"

"No!" House vetoes, when he hears about it the next day. Of course, House has no actual say in the matter, and his disapproval does nothing but push Cameron in the other direction.

When Jim watches Star Wars for the first time and dreams of becoming a ship's captain or a pilot or both, that seals the deal.

* * *

They send him to Iowa, where his grandparents live close enough to supervise. Jim returns to New Jersey for holidays and summers, and every time he does his younger siblings nearly burst with excitement. On average, he nearly gets kicked out of school nine times a year; eight of those he weasels out of using his own charm, and the leftover one is Chase and Cameron calling in favors from former patients, or flying up to the midwest to diagnose the Headmaster's second cousin's aunt or whoever's life needs to be saved, in order to keep James inside the system. He really is a smart kid, the teachers say -- just has a knack for getting himself into trouble.

After graduating high school -- just barely -- Jim decides to take a year off before he enlists. He returns to Princeton for the summer, gets five tickets for speeding in a week, beats up his little sister's sixteen-year-old-boyfriend, and pays Rach and Andy a visit. He also visits his parents at the hospital, and meets Chase's new surgical intern, Dr. Leo McCoy. Wilson's the one who catches them in the supply closet with their pants down.

"Wow," Wilson tells Chase later. "That was _fast_."

"He didn't get it from me," Chase groans.

Wilson raises an eyebrow. "Supply closet?"

"Er." Chase considers it. "All right, maybe he got that one from me."

It takes another month before Dr. McCoy stops blushing whenever he looks at Chase. Needless to say, it's a very uncomfortable summer for them both.

* * *

By some kind of unexplained miracle, Jim gets accepted into Annapolis. Chase and Cameron agree to give him the house for the night so he can throw himself a farewell party and invite his local friends. They weren't banking on the fact that he would go to House, of all people, for party-planning tips; the cops arrive at the scene at 1AM, but at least this time Chase doesn't have to bail anyone out of prison. The next day, Jim's face is swollen and bruised from the number of slaps he got from girls at the party, but he doesn't wince when his family hugs and kisses him goodbye.

"Be good," Cameron tells him. "Stay out of trouble."

Chase hoists the last of Jim's luggage into the car. "Don't forget to write."

James grins, winks at his siblings, and drives off. Chase is pretty sure he'll be going 30 mph over the speed limit once he's out of their sight.

"What was it your husband did again?" he asks out of habit.

"Car salesman," she says automatically.

"Right." Chase is pretty sure 'car salesman' is actually code for 'secret bomber test pilot' or possibly 'professional gigolo', but he's never worked up the courage to say so out loud.

The last echoes of the rumbling car engine disappear, and they're left alone, standing on their driveway in Jersey suburbia. Cameron looks proud and worried and a little sad, and Chase wraps an arm around her shoulder. "He'll be fine," he tells her. "He's a good kid. Inside. He always pulls through."

"I know," she sighs. "I just hope he's not alone up there."

If there's something they never need to worry about, it's James K. Chase being alone, Chase wants to say -- but, yeah. He knows what she means.

* * *

In December, a case is referred to Cameron's department from Maryland. Young man, unexplained heart and liver failure, green urine, funny ears, emotionally retarded -- although once Cameron and her fellows rule that out as a symptom, it's not too hard a case to solve. After the patient nearly dies twice, they figure it out -- oddly enough, with the young man's assistance himself.

He's admitted into Chase's department for surgery. When he comes out, he's woozy enough that he thanks them with an actual smile.

"You're heading back to Annapolis, then?" Chase asks him the next day, during his final post-op checkup.

"Yes," he replies.

"My son goes there too."

The boy doesn't look surprised. "I had surmised as such, although there is little resemblance. His hair has much less... flop."

Chase grins. "Still. He's my son."

"Yes." There's silence for a moment, and then the boy asks: "I'm sorry, I am confused. Is there anything else I should be doing with this information?"

Chase smiles. "He's a smart boy. Very motivated. But he can get a little, er, reckless." Chase pats the boy's leg. "I'd appreciate it of you could look out for him. He doesn't call home much, and it can be tough out there. It would help his mother and me to know that he's okay."

The patient's expression shifts from disdain to reluctance to resignation. All of them look more or less the same. "Very well," he says finally. "You have saved my life. It is only fair I reciprocate with good will."

"James Kirk," Chase reminds him, pleased.

"I am aware," the boy sighs, which seems to end the conversation.

* * *

Sometimes Chase still envies Cameron's dead husband, for being what he must have been to produce their child, beautiful and charming and brave and everything Jim is. Sometimes Chase resents him for dying before the going got tough, especially when Chase is writing checks to cover whatever damage Jim inflicted in his last round of daredevilry, or when Chase's heart skips a beat when he gets the call that Jim's been admitted to a hospital -- again -- or, a few years from now, when he'll start getting calls not to worry, Dad, this is just a standard mission, and we have backup, and it'll be fine.

Most of the time, though, Chase is just grateful. Screw Cameron's dead husband -- Chase got the better end of the deal anyhow.

(Right, except for having to pay for that one abortion. That wasn't pleasant. Really, Chase hopes that the whole 'wife at every port' is just an exaggeration, because he gets the feeling that in Jim's case that would mean wives, husbands, and lovechildren across the globe, and there are things Chase isn't ready for. Not yet.)


End file.
